Aukstā Zupa

I don't know about anyone else but this family is whipped, exhausted and otherwise drained.  While I'm sure this incredible heat has something to do with it, I am just as sure the roller-coaster emotions, busy pace and holiday have played a major role.

Today started early for me (so what else is new) as I was playing as part of the music worship team at church.  [As a quick aside, I wonder if anyone else in the hosting program is finding it difficult to sleep.  I have not been able to sleep past 6 a.m. yet!  Nerves, excitement? Who knows.]  Anyway, at the end of services, during the final prayer, Peter starts his yelling out loud.  We just couldn't help but start to giggle and laugh under our breath, especially Daniela.  I think she liked the way Peter was praying.  At times during the service, Daniela appeared to be paying some attention to Michael, our pastor. Hmm? Was she able to pick up a few words here and there? Maybe.

We rolled back into Bethlehem and Eileen and Daniela had to take a long nap; they were just exhausted.  Peter and I ran off to the grocery store and did the weekly shopping.  Eventually Daniela awoke from her slumber and came downstairs.  She typed a question into the translator asking me if I would like some cold soup and if she can make it for me.  Of course, I readily agreed and asked her to go with me to the store.  She smiled and said yes.  At the store we bought all the ingredients she needed.  She was unconcerned with not finding the right kind of sausage (aka bologna) necessary as "I will be able to take [make] still something delicious [for] yourself."  When I asked her if she wanted anything else at the store she nodded her head "I want something sweet and delicious." Really love this girl!

At home we began preparing the meal (yes we have a secret video of it unbeknownst to Daniela).  We all sat down to dinner and Daniela was beaming when we "ooh-ed" and "aah-ed", gave her a round of applause and showered her with compliments. Peter was looking at the pink soup as if to say "You have got to be kidding me! You want me to eat that?" He pushed the bowl away.   Daniela was beside herself with laughter!  She said he does not like "pink" food and that he was on a diet!  That made all of us howl!!  She also said to him that now he knows what she feels like about our food - strange tastes, smells and spices.

After a quick walk of the dogs, Daniela decided she did not want to go to swim tonight.  That was cool with us.  Netflix tonight!  She is taking it easy upstairs as I type this.

Tomorrow Eileen goes to work for the week so Daniela and I will have some time together.  Looking forward to all the awkwardness, frustration, love and laughter that this week has in store for us.  God is so good!!!

On Top of the World

On Saturday, we ventured into the Emerald City to see the Wizard.  We discovered that the Wizard had returned to Kansas for the holiday weekend which was just fine with us!  We enjoyed our day in the Big Apple - just us five and about 8 million residents and other tourists.

Joining us on our excursion was Laima Bula, a chaperone who happens to be staying with a family here in Bethlehem, PA.  Laima was very sweet and so kind.  I think that Laima and Daniela appreciated the opportunity to talk to someone in their native tongue.  They both were laughing and smiling throughout the day.

Our first stop was Ground Zero.  We did not visit the memorial partly because we had limited time but also because we couldn't find the entrance!  We hooked up with my cousin, Susan, who spent the day traipsing around the city with us.  It was nice to have a member of my family get the chance to meet Daniela and spend a little time with her.

The first thing Daniela asked when we arrived in the city was where do we go swimming?  We had to explain to her that there is no place to swim in NYC.  She immediately became annoyed and adopted a little attitude.  Even Laima exclaimed "Teenagers!"  Once we showed her the East River she began to understand!  Eileen and I were determined to enjoy the day and have some fun even if it meant dragging Daniela along until her mood changed.  We've learned this much about her - she is stubborn but will eventually come around when she realizes she can enjoy the situation and have some fun.

After a little lunch we hopped on the famous NYC subway and headed uptown to Rockefeller Center.  Everyone enjoyed the beautiful surroundings with the wonderful architecture, the shade trees, the sculptures and all the crowds.  Laima and Daniela enjoyed trying to find the Latvian flag in the plaza and squealed with delight and applause when they found it.

At this point Daniela was starting to warm up.  We went to the Top of the Rock to take in the magnificent views with the weather being ideal.  Daniela asked to have the camera so she could take pictures as we were heading up in the elevator (she was beginning to get excited but didn't want to admit it).  When we got to the top, everyone was speechless!  The views were breathtaking.

After a brief stop in Times Square our sweaty, tired family headed for home.  Daniela played some of her mp3 music through the car stereo and we were dancing and singing along. She had been reluctant to play her music for us and was relieved (I imagine) when we enjoyed it!  When we arrived home Daniela wanted to email the pictures of her adventure to Inga her house director back in Latvia.  So we did that and sent Daniela a copy of the email (Eileen managed to smoothly get that email contact info from Daniela so now we have a way to keep in touch with her when she returns to Latvia).

After a little light supper, we went upstairs to tuck our girl in to bed.  Her bed was unmade and her clothes were scattered throughout the room.  We jokingly acted in horror at the "mess" and Daniela enjoyed a good laugh.  She said that in her room her feet never touch the floor because of all the stuff on the floor.  She says that she likes to have small rooms so the things she has will fill up the space and make her feel cozy.

Another very good day where the walls came down a little bit more.

I Want for Ice Cream.

It's a new day
Things started out when she requested coffee at breakfast! This was a first and I had a feeling when she felt comfortable telling me to put in 3 heaps of sugar she was starting to trust me. Perhaps the first week was just serious  caffeine  withdrawal combined with all the other stuff.
We were able to plan a morning of biking at a nearby lake. Little did I realize there is no swimming, just boating, so the swim plans were kaboshed. I suggested we could go to the pool. No "only lakes or the sea". I explained there was no sea in Bethlehem Pa and not even a close lake, but we had two rivers and a lovely public swimming pool.  Daniela has this great way of turning her head just so and making a ehh sound that translates into : WHATEVER. Biking was great. So it was after the Whatever and we left the park... we passed a small restaurant and continued to drive. About five minutes in she types something and then blurts it out " I want for Ice Cream" I almost drove off the road. She started giggling and hiding behind the tablet. I rolled down the windows and hollered to the sky "Ice Cream Ice cream She wants for Ice Cream"  It was awesome.
She choose chocolate chip mint. My mom's favorite. I wouldn't have guessed.

There is a lot I wouldn't have guessed.

She was helpful today. She was extra silly with Peter. She was flexible about the day. She stayed downstairs in the evening and hung out and waited for Phil to get home. They spent some time in the kitchen She told me her mom was Russian and her dad is Latvian. She speaks Russian. She told us Goggle is all over the world. She asked if we checked out Riga on the internet and did we like? She beamed when we said yes. She googled mapped her city and showed us her house. She is excited to go to New York tomorrow and is fine with us bringing a Latvian chaperone who is staying in Bethlehem. She is so smart. And determined. She is not your typical teen but she is. She tells Peter that she gets the front seat. He listens. She wore the dress Phil picked out and purchased all by himself for her. She talked about her boyfriend and that they quarreled over her coming here. I got to tell her what a brave and good choice she made. She wore her cute red keds.

It was Phil who said we should host a girl. Oh No, not me, I'm a boy mom, girls are scary, I was one yikes, crap, etc etc. He is such a smart husband. For what ever reason God has sent this beloved child to us to nurture and teach and learn from. We are blessed. This could all change by tomorrow but for this moment in time my heart is full, I am grateful and I know there are no mistakes in His plan.
PS .she also picked out dresses for me and played her music in car and sang along. It sounds just like American teen music except in Latvian.

Cannonballs, Water Pistols and a Dress

Yesterday was Independence Day. As anyone who has been following this adventure knows our time with Daniela has been indescribable, wonderful and tough all at the same time.  We began the day with uncertainty. Uncertain as to how this day would start out, uncertain as to which direction it would go and uncertain as to what lay before us. 

After some gentle prodding Daniela emerged from her room and ate some breakfast.  We filled her in on the plans for the day and she showered and dressed.  We were going to our friends' house - Wayne and Linda Adams - for a BBQ and swimming.  She came down the stairs wearing a simple cotton maxi dress that I had bought for her while she and Eileen were getting a mani/pedi on Monday.  She had told us that she liked those and wanted one.  I couldn't believe it!  Daniela looked ... radiant! A tiny smile even broke out as we vigorously showed our approval by applauding!!!

We spent the day swimming.  Daniela is in her element in the water.  She was laughing, interacting and being mischievous all day long.  She was tipping us off our floating rafts in the pool, pushing us into the pool and occasionally bombing us with cannonballs!!!  Then when it came time for retribution from me or Eileen she would squeal and run away saying "Noooooo".  When she wasn't looking I would swim underwater and grab her ankles making her squeal with laughter.   Daniela and I even did a few choreographed cannonball jumps together.  Loads of fun.

Peter refused to get in the pool but that did not deter Daniela.  She grabbed a water pistol and began soaking him with it.  We all joined in the fun. When that wasn't enough Daniela poured water on him and splashed him non-stop.  Peter does NOT like getting splashed but he was LOVING it from Daniela.

Peter and Daniela have formed some connection in the week she has been here.  He makes her giggle with his gusto for food and Daniela has begun to mimic some of his rudimentary language skills.  When Pete claps, Daniela responds with clapping.  When Pete makes his guttural "whale" noises,  Daniela answers in kind.  That makes Pete smile and Daniela rolls her eyes at him and smiles back.

At the end of the night, we were sunburned and exhausted. 

This young woman has been through so much pain and rejection in her life, things we cannot and will not share here.  She cannot understand how we (strangers) can tell her we love her when her own family does not love her.  But I think she is beginning to understand that love now.  She obviously struggles with letting her guard down to let in some love and let out some love; she wants to so much but then she feels vulnerable and scared so she throws up the wall and pushes us away.  This is followed by letting her guard down a little more when she sees that we still love her and are NEVER giving up on her even when she is at her worst.

Worth the Wait

This is a tough posting.  We did not have a great day and yet on some levels we did.  Daniela pretty much started the day in a snit and continued with it all day and into the night.  Despite complaining yesterday that we are a boring family and she sits around in her room and stares at the walls ... that is precisely what she did all day, of her own choosing. 

We had several phone calls with her chaperone who then relayed to us some VERY pertinent information.  Daniela says she does not understand how we can say that we love her when we barely know her while her own family does not love her.  She is not used to this "love" thing and is probably waiting for the other shoe to drop - the shoe that says we don't love her and pass her along to someone else.  So she is testing us to see if we really mean what we say - that we love her, even at her worst. 

We also learned that her father is still around but has nothing to do with her; he is apparently an angry man, a very angry man.  We are trying to see if we can get a better idea of what happened (if that is allowed) as it may give us a better insight into Daniela.

No matter what happens, we will continue to have faith and will continue to persevere.  We love this girl and it may not be until the middle of July that she realizes that our love for her is genuine and without conditions. We will wait because she is worth the wait.

Teenagers Are From a Different Planet

Oh to be 16 again….NOT

It’s up, it’s down, you’re great, you suck, you are the worst host family ever (sorry Becca Nichols – you are no longer the worst host family)! Followed by the most words I’ve heard the whole week shouted at us ( in Latvian) from under the covers. We suspect it wasn’t a friendly good night.

That was the tuck in, affirmation reading, hugs all around , mushy, lovey-dovey moment I was waiting for. I need to understand the workings of the 16 year old mind. Having been a 16 year old (God bless my mother) it’s never going to make sense at least not until you're 49. 

Tonight , Daniela told Phil about how boring her day was how she stared at the four walls, how all the other families are having nonstop fun and excitement and we are the only ones not doing anything. I was wounded that she skipped the fun parts like the laughter over the Hawaiian pizza making tonight, our shopping trip, the cute red keds. I was angry that she refused the offer to go to the pool or the movies. I asked if she wanted to learn to knit or crochet. “Uggh” and an eye-roll was the response. Did she forget our chat about Kenny - the boyfriend it Latvia? I explained how we are going to the beach for a full week, going to NYC over the weekend and will have multiple chances to go to NYC and that not every day was filled with long drives to other States. We had the medical appointments to handle today and there is plenty of time.

I need to understand that is “ok” to say no. Teaching what a healthy family looks like may not always be met with warm hugs and yippy – skippy.

I don’t know much about Daniela but this is what I do know from a few short days with her: She is smart; She is stubborn as a mule; She has a killer smile and a goofy sense of humor; She is organized and likes to plan; She is very used to going out with her friends and they are not here; She carries a deep sorrow and doesn’t know what to do with that stuff. 

I do not like that she is standing in her own way, but I need to respect her journey. I can encourage her and love her. I can be honest with her and I can set an example of a woman who somehow miraculously survived life past 16.

Girls are very scary, just saying.

She did say pineapple, tomato juice and I think some curse words in Latvian.

God I love this girl, help us reach her…maybe by day 7? Just saying.

Eileen

PS On a good note, the dentist trip went well - only two small cavities but the dentist recommended a lot of orthodontia work.  The braces, teeth extraction and implants will have to be done in Latvia.  Up until the meltdown at the end there was a lot of great communication and bonding - who knew she had a tongue piercing and had a boyfriend named Kenny?

Girls Day Out and the Eye Doctor

Today was the dreaded eye doctor visit.  Daniela was anxious (although she swore to us that she was not nervous) as she is self-conscious about the near total loss of sight in one eye due to an accident.  She was a real trooper and got through it without a hitch.  The doctor, on the other hand, was more concerned about covering his butt for liability purposes (as he could not get a read on her bad eye) than he was in taking care of his patient.  We rescheduled the appointment and will have it set up to have the interpreter (not the google translator app) do the talking.

Afterwards, Eileen and Daniela  got a manicure and pedicure.  She really enjoyed the chairs - they had a massage feature!! Very nice!!!!  Daniela was still shy about pictures where she is the subject but she'll warm up to it.  Very nice to see the two ladies bonding. 

Later, they went on a shopping trip to the grocery store.  Daniela got to pick out foods she wanted (chicken nuggets and tomato juice) and saw the pizza you can make at home at the store.  Excitedly she asked if we can make Hawaiian pizza with the pizza dough shell and, of course, we were happy to oblige her!!

Daniela started her English lessons today and stated emphatically "English does not make sense; I will not attempt it."  However, Eileen managed to get her to say her first English word "tomato" by telling her that if we require Peter to give the sign for pizza she had to say the word for tomato juice. Brilliant.  She later said "water" and "Peter"!!!

More adventures tomorrow.